I have purposely chosen to write this small post on election day.
This year has been a tough one emotionally for many of us.
Coping with the stress and uncertainty has lead to some feeling anxiety in a way that is unfamiliar.
For myself turning to mediation has been a help. It can be for you too.
Meditation has long been known to be helpful in coping with the stresses of life. When I mention it to people I often get the response- “Oh, but my mind is too busy to meditate.” Which, of course, is sort of the point.
What Mediation is NOT
When I first heard about meditation I thought about monks sitting on a craggy hill amongst the clouds with their minds empty. It seemed extreme and not something I could achieve, nor even particularly aspire to. However I was convinced to give it a try.
The first time I was introduced to meditation was during a trip I took to a spa in Mexico. A small group of us gathered in a well it quiet room and settled into a cross legged position on mats. A groovy young woman calmly guided us to “just breathe, and empty our minds.” If I got distracted I was told to just come back to the breath- which I am pretty sure I did several hundred times during that session. Gah! I thought. How simple but how hard. All I could think about was how I was terrible at it. In the end I guess it felt good to sit still…. but really I felt more like it was demoralizing and torturous. Needless to say, I did not adopt a practice.
What Meditation IS, At Least For Me
Off an on over the years I have given meditation a try. I once even spent a weekend at a zen center here in NYC learning how to properly meditate. After that it seemed better. I had been studying Buddhism and so the concept of quieting was easier to grasp, but it still felt hard, and awkward, and unsuccessful.
Then this past January I decided to give it one more go and learned Transcendental Meditation at the TM Center down in the Financial District of the city. I had listened to a podcast with Bob Roth talking about it. TM had always seemed to uber zen to me that I really thought I could not go there, but Bob had a way of making it seem simple and not so woo-woo. After all there are a lot of famous folks who do it- Oprah, David Lynch, The Beatles.
I learned many things during the training I did there, but the most important thing is that mediation is about taking the time to be a human BEING and take a break from acting as a human DOING. I learned that the goal was not to eliminate every single thought, the goal was to connect and be with myself so I could find peace in the quiet- my quiet.
How it Helps
The result of my letting go of trying to force silence in my mind, was to become friendly with my thoughts, to find ease and flow. I stopped getting frustrated with my “gotta gotta” thoughts ( when I get up I gotta do this, and I gotta do that). They are a part of me. What I have learned is to not put them center and allow them to distract me. It’s sort of like that annoying relative at a dinner party that just goes on and on. After awhile you just tune out, only occasionally catching a word or phrase here or there. So there it is. And there it is not.
The silence is there amongst the noise, and it is into that which I sink and relax.
I will admit some days I am full of chatter, and some days my mantra can float me into oblivion right from the start. It’s all good. It’s what it is- and when I am finished, I am better for it. Even if I only get one second of connected quiet, I am better for it. There is no need to strive for perfect bliss, there is just giving myself the time and space to dial down and connect. THAT is how it helps.
Interested in Getting Started?
Mediation is now a regular part of my life. Most days I mediate for 20 minutes, other days 10, some days I skip or forget. There is no pressure to force myself to sit. However, the more I practice, the better it feels. The better is feels, the more I practice. Even on the days that I can only catch a few minutes on the train, or at my desk, it’s good.
Though I am a huge fan of TM you can start out on your own. Right before I went to the TM Center I had used an app called Calm. It has a ton of guided mediations, sleep stories and tutorials. They offer a free trial if you would like to check it out. Another app is Headspace. I have not personally tried it, but I know of a few people who really love it. They also allow you to try it for free.
All of these options as good ones. The fun is finding the sweet spot that works for you.
No matter what happens in the election today adding meditation to your life is one of the pillars of good health. We all could use some calm and connection from time to time.
I wish you peace.
Note: Photo credit goes to @_andre.diaz on Instagram